


Happy Endings

by grayscale



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 01:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13400544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grayscale/pseuds/grayscale
Summary: Yuto hadn't really known what he was expecting when he had submitted an application to work in the administrative office of an international school, but he certainly wasn’t expecting to be asked out by movie star and school alumni Okamoto Keito.





	Happy Endings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [satanfics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/satanfics/gifts).



> I hope you enjoy this fic, nakajaiima! I realize that it’s probably not exactly the school AU you had in mind, but I tried to put in as many themes and ideas you asked for as I could. I really had fun writing it, so thank you for giving me the inspiration, and I hope you have fun reading it, too!

Yuto hadn't really known what he was expecting when he had submitted an application to work in the administrative office of an international school late one night.  It had been a whim, mostly; in his fifth year of university after failing to get off his ass and find a job by the end of his fourth, he knew he needed to job search a little more actively, but it was hard to decide what he wanted.  It had been a problem his entire life, really; he liked so many things that it was hard to choose to focus on one, ever since he was a kid taking tap dance and horseback riding and drum lessons after school.  His parents had the money and he had the free time, so he hadn't been forced to make a decision back then, but he'd never been forced to break the habit, either, which is how he'd ended up going to university for history (who knew you couldn't really make a degree out of music history unless you went to a particular university?) and then switching to Literature (he liked reading novels and watching movies; studying them, he found out, was a different story), before finally settling on English.  It hadn't even really been that he wanted to study English for the rest of his life or anything; sure, he'd like it well enough in high school and always thought that foreign actors and singers sounded really cool, but his advisor had informed him that if he switched again, there was no way he'd be able to graduate in four years, so he'd better make up his mind.  

It turned out that that was a moot point, though; English was all right, but the grammar was tough and the classes with foreign teachers who talked all quickly and in big words that Yuto couldn't understand, and by his fourth year, Yuto just didn't have the energy to go to class all day and then spend his evenings and weekends job hunting, as well.  He put forth some effort; he went to the job fairs posted on the bulletin boards in the English department every time he happened to remember the date, and he looked at jobs on online job boards, but when he saw things like "must have Eiken level 1" or "must have a TOEIC score of 800 or higher" in the list of requirements, it just didn't seem worth it to apply.  After all, Yuto likes to think of himself as a particularly gifted person, naturally.  After all, he'd been able to graduate high school barely studying at all, and despite switching majors twice, he was still on a fast track to graduation, but even he, in all his talent, wasn't able to get past Level Pre-1 on the Eiken.  Who could possibly even achieve those types of things besides, like, foreign native English speakers, anyway?  

So he hadn't particularly prioritized job hunting; everything was bound to fall into place, he thought, like it always had.  But yet still, somehow, at the end of his fourth year of university, as all his classmates moved on to better things, he found himself jobless.  It wasn't fair, he'd thought bitterly, that all these people who also didn't have Eiken Level 1 and who didn't raise their hands and participate in class as much as he did and who didn't have anywhere near as much talent as he did were getting ahead, but he also had never really been one to let the little things in life get him down.  His parents were more than happy to pay for a fifth year in school, and so he'd selected another round of courses and made a mental note to get off his ass and job search a little harder this year.  After all, he told himself, sometimes, things happened for a reason, right?  Maybe all of this was some greater karma, and the perfect job would fall into his lap.  

And so, thus reassured (he had always been a confident person, anyway), he had continued into his fifth year of college with renewed resolve and a less difficult course load, waiting for destiny to work its magic.  However, it felt like anything but destiny when, on a whim, he'd stumbled upon a job opening for an administrative assistant at an international school out in the suburbs.  Actually, it hadn't felt like much of anything at all; Yuto didn't have much idea of what he wanted to do with his life, nor did he feel particularly confident in his ability to fit in in an international school-- sure, he was an English major, but weren't like all the teachers and staff at an international school foreign?  He had thought about passing it by altogether, but he was determined to put as much effort as he could into his job search this year, so he'd followed the instructions on the website and attached his resume and a few other required documents to an email and promptly sent it off to the school without another thought.  

The whole thing had totally slipped his mind by the next morning, which is why he was more than a little surprised to check his email that evening and find a message from the international school asking him what time would work to schedule an interview.  It's his first interview invitation ever, which is probably why, despite the fact that he hadn't particularly felt like he wanted or would be a good fit for this job, he screams, practically throws his phone across the room, and then does a three-and-a-half minute happy dance before taking a few deep breaths and sitting down to send a response. 

From then on, it all goes by in such a whirlwind that Yuto barely knows what's happening; he's nervous leading up to the interview, but after he makes it to the school and finds his way to the main office (who knew that you could wear outdoor shoes inside international schools!), it turns out that the interview really feels more like a friendly chat that just so happens to center around what skills he has and what he can bring to the school and why he's excited about the job, and by the time he leaves with promises that the hiring committee will get back to him within a few weeks, he feels like he has the job in the bag.  And sure enough, when he gets an email a short while later asking him about his salary expectations and when he'd be able to begin working, his enthusiastic reply is met by a formal offer in writing and assurances that his new contract, ready for him to sign, is on its way in the mail.  

And so, as of January of his fifth year of university, Yuto doesn't really know what he wants to do with his life, but he has to admit that, with a job lined up and his confidence after having aced his very first interview boosted, working at an international school is seeming like a pretty good prospect after all.  

... 

The first week or so of work at his brand new job is more than a little overwhelming, but Yuto knows that if anyone is up to the task of learning a new environment and responsibilities, it's him.  After all, he'd done so many different things when he was younger and changed majors in university so many times that adapting is basically a way of life, and while it's hard to get used to being surrounded by so many foreign people speaking English all the time without feeling like he's starring in his own personal Hollywood movie, somehow, he manages to focus on figuring out his work rather than the attractive multicultural teachers and students around him.  

At the very least, the majority of the administrative staff around him are fellow Japanese people, which also reduces his fears of needing to speak English all day every day, something that had sounded pretty awesome but also admittedly exhausting.  He sits near two other guys around his age, another fact that makes learning his new position easier; across from him is an administrative assistant named Chinen, who looks significantly younger than Yuto but turns out to be almost exactly the same age, and to his right is an accountant named Yamada, who annoyingly rolls his eyes every time Yuto asks what he seems to regard as a stupid question, but then goes out of his way to explain everything in such detail that, while Yuto is sometimes annoyed by his demeanor, he can't exactly dislike such a helpful senpai, either.  Between the explanations and answers Yuto gets from his boss and Chinen and Yamada's suggestions and tips, after a month of work, Yuto feels like he's really beginning to fit in.  Outside of the work, which is at times tiring or confusing but generally rewarding, the school's foreign teachers and students are friendly, and the vacations are long, and the lunches that he eats at his desk each day while chatting with Yamada and Chinen are frankly delicious.  And even after a few days, once he starts to get the hang of things, he feels as if the work will definitely be easy once he has some experience under his belt.  While Yuto had never seen himself working at an international school while he was in university, this job, he thinks, is shaping up to be a dream job.  

He doesn't even realize just how dreamy it is, however, until another week or so.  He's sitting at his desk one Monday afternoon working on a translation when he notices a stranger in street clothes approaching the office through the window.  He doesn't think much of it, however; potential parents and students come for tours of the school regularly, and it's not unheard of for former students to visit or come to pick up documents, either, so it doesn't mean much that someone he doesn't know is dropping by.  When he looks up again a moment later, however, his eyes almost bug out of his head; the visitor, who has now gotten close enough to the office windows that Yuto can see his face, is someone who Yuto recognizes, but not from his personal life.  He's seen that face on TV commercials, billboards, magazine covers, newspapers-- practically everywhere, because the person who's just about to walk into the school building is none other than the up and coming actor, Okamoto Keito.  

Yuto wouldn't call himself a fan, per se; he doesn't buy every magazine that has Okamoto's face on it or watch every movie he's been in dozens of times, but he has to admit that he finds him pretty darn attractive.  He knows Okamoto's father is former rock star Okamoto Kenichi and that Okamoto had studied abroad in England for several years and a variety of other facts that he's picked up from reading his articles in magazines and newspapers over the years, and he's drawn to see movies with Okamoto's name above the title because even if the story turns out not very good, Okamoto is definitely hot enough to make up for it.  Yuto is generally the type of person to be awed by talented famous people, so it's not exactly like Okamoto is _that_ special, or anything, but as he approaches the building, Yuto can't help but think that he's even hotter in person than he is on TV, despite the fact that he's not done up for the public, and instead is wearing nothing but jeans and a T-shirt and a baseball cap to hide his face from the press. 

"Oh, it's Keito," Chinen remarks blandly, having seemingly noticed Yuto's sparkling eyes and glanced over his shoulder just in time to see Okamoto walk by the office towards the front entrance of the building.  

"W-what do you mean, 'Oh, it's Keito?!'" Yuto gasps, his brain catching up with what's going on in the room with him now that Okamoto is out of his line of sight. "Are you on a first-name basis or something...?!"  

Chinen shrugs.  "Well, I just started working here last year, but I've met him once or twice," he remarks, as if having met Okamoto Keito once or twice isn't a big deal even in the slightest, and Yuto is about to burst with questions about when and why and how when Chinen continues, "I mean, he went to high school here, so basically everyone knows him."  

Yuto is still struggling to process that information when the bell at the office door rings, and before anyone else can do anything, Yuto is on his feet and practically halfway across the room.  His mind is working overtime as he rushes to the door-- Okamoto Keito had been a student at his current place of work?! Of all the coincidences in the world, it had turned out that one of the most attractive movie stars around Yuto's age just happened to have graduated from the unassuming international school at which he'd taken a job?!  It was beyond anything Yuto had ever imagined, beyond anything he could wrap his brain around, and so he pinches himself once for good measure to make sure that he's not dreaming before taking a couple deep breaths and pulling the door open.  

He had thought he was emotionally prepared for the sight that was awaiting him on the other side of the door, but he had been wrong.  Yuto doesn't know what in the world possibly could have prepared him for this, to be honest, what could have prepared him to suddenly be face to face with a drop-dead gorgeous movie star on whom Yuto, if he was honest with himself, had somewhat of an inkling of a celebrity crush.  Okamoto is a few centimeters shorter than Yuto, but he's well proportioned for his size, his arms muscular but not too bulky from what Yuto can see beyond the short sleeves of Okamoto's T-shirt, and his pants fit him just right, as if he'd carelessly thrown them on this morning after showering but yet they still somehow look perfect.  His hair is tied back in a messy ponytail that sticks out beneath his hat, and despite the fact that he's certainly not wearing any makeup that he might normally wear for a magazine photoshoot or drama filming, his skin looks perfect, his face falling perfectly into a model-esque pout.  Yuto wants to scream, or else faint, or at the very least shake his hand and get an autograph, but somewhere in the back of his mind, his logical reasoning abilities kick in, because he can hear himself saying, "Hi, how can I help you?" in a perfectly professional tone despite the fact that his heart is beating out of his chest and he feels anything but professional.  

"Uh, hi," says Okamoto, his voice deep and smooth and exactly as cool as on TV, "I came to get some forms..." 

"You need to fill out a document request application," comes Chinen's voice from startlingly close behind Yuto, causing Yuto to jump embarrassingly in surprise.  Somehow, in his awe over Okamoto, he hadn't noticed Chinen following him to the door-- he supposes, in hindsight, having worked here for a year and being the person who processes requests from graduated students, Chinen probably ought to know what Okamoto needed, and perhaps Yuto should have let him get the door in the first place, but... well, he can't exactly bring himself to feel bad when here he is, breathing the same air as Okamoto Keito.  

"Uh, right..." Okamoto replies, his expression growing more vexed.  "Which form is that again...?" 

"It's the same one you needed to fill out last time. And the time before," Chinen prompts breezily, and Yuto is shocked that he can possibly act this way in the face of a famous person, not to mention one as handsome and talented and amazing as Okamoto.  Sure, maybe he's just a graduated student to Chinen, but he must be the most famous graduated student the school has ever had, right...?! 

And so, "I'll grab one!!" Yuto offers enthusiastically, thinking that he's just doing his job, though under the surface, the idea that he might get to stand in the waiting area and walk Okamoto through filling out the form may have been crossing his mind as well (despite the fact that he's never looked at a document request application form before and processing them was Chinen's job, well, it can't be too hard, right?)  Chinen shrugs, but luckily, he's an easygoing guy, and so he gestures for Okamoto to take a seat in the lobby and then leaves Yuto to it.  Yuto makes a mental note to thank him later as he bounds around the room in an attempt to figure out where the correct form is stored and bring it to Okamoto as fast as possible.  He might look foolish, but he can't bring himself to care-- he's about to spend at least a minute or two talking to a celebrity-- a really handsome one at that-- and he's more than a little excited.  

It turns out, Yuto discovers when he finally finds the correct form, that there are really only 3 lines for Okamoto to fill out, including his own name, and he probably doesn't need help, but, Yuto thinks, it's only good service to stay in case Okamoto needs anything, right?  And so, after handing him the form with an enthusiastic, "Thanks for waiting!" he takes a step back and stands beside the table at which Okamoto is sitting, watching him... you know, in case he needs anything, he tells himself, and definitely not to watch him as he takes his hat off and pushes a few stray strands of hair behind his ear in the most handsome, cool way possible.  

Okamoto begins to fill out the form in English, and Yuto feels his excitement levels rising at how cool his cursive handwriting is and how easily and effortlessly he writes in a foreign language.  When he reaches the bottom of the document, he signs his name in English with a flourish and Yuto feels like he's practically melting where he stands with fannish delight, but he somehow manages to pull himself together when Okamoto stands back up and hands the paper to him.  

"I hope that's all the information," he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck in a way that's somehow both extremely handsome and humbly relatable.  "I've never been good at this sort of thing."  

"I'm sure it's fine!" Yuto assures with enthusiasm despite the fact that he has no idea what information is required for a document request.  

That really ought to be the end of the discussion, but suddenly, Yuto can't bear to let his brief encounter with possibly the most handsome man on the face of the planet end, and so, despite the fact that it's totally unnecessary, he suddenly blurts, "By the way, I'm Nakajima Yuto...!!"  

"Nice to meet you," Okamoto replies without missing a beat, holding out his hand for a handshake.  Yuto's heart does somersaults in his chest as he actually gets to touch his idol, but it's nothing compared to the feeling in his chest when he looks up and his eyes meet Okamoto's.  They look back at one another for a whole moment in which Yuto's world stands still, but then Okamoto is breaking into a winning smile as he pulls his hat back on and says, "Well then, I'll ask for you when I come back for the documents, Nakajima-san."  

Yuto is so overwhelmed with excitement and joy that he can't even remember afterwards what he replied, but as he watches Okamoto walk out the front door again, transfixed, he thinks that this job is even better than he ever expected.  

... 

It turns out that Okamoto had graduated from high school just over five years ago, in the same year that Yuto had graduated, but due to his busy work schedule, he'd been unable to complete university in the usual amount of time, and was now preparing to graduate at the end of his sixth year.  Yuto can commiserate with having to do too many years of university, albeit for different reasons, and he can't help but be pleased to think that he and Okamoto have a lot in common.  Not that a movie star would ever want to be friends (or more) with Yuto, but he can't help but daydream about it each day at work as he remembers how it had been to shake hands with Okamoto, to look into his eyes.  He counts down the days until Okamoto will come back to pick up his documents with more anticipation than a child counting down to Christmas.  

"I'm really the person who's supposed to take care of document requests, you know," Chinen points out on the day before Okamoto's scheduled visit to retrieve his papers, with an amused grin.  "Unless you want to take on that duty forever.  I can ask my boss about it."  

"Eh?" Yuto responds, blinking out of his daydream and trying to process what Chinen is saying.  He has a feeling Chinen is joking, but at the realization that he's being told he shouldn't get to talk to Okamoto again, his face falls, and he whimpers, "But... he said... and..." 

"Oh my god, this is a school, not a fan club," Yamada interjects with a sigh, but Chinen only shrugs, that same playful grin still on his face.  

"I guess I'll let you slide this one time," he replies, to which Yuto leaps to his feet and practically yells, "Thank you!!!" much to the shock and confusion of everyone else in the office. 

That evening feels like it lasts a hundred years, and Yuto lays sleeplessly in bed thinking about how this will possibly be the last time he'll get to interact with Okamoto.  After all, if he's graduating from university soon, what need will there be for him to come back to his former high school?  He knows that he's lucky to have gotten to meet a celebrity at all, and that he really shouldn't get depressed about something that was an unexpected perk in the first place, but Okamoto was just so cool and handsome and amazing in person that Yuto doesn't know how he'll ever be able to go back to just watching him on TV and reading about him in magazines.  At the very least, he definitely needs to savor their last meeting, he thinks, and so, thus determined, he wakes up extra early and chooses his most fashionable work clothes and spends an extra half hour styling his hair before heading to the school the next morning.  

Okamoto is scheduled to stop by in the early afternoon, but it feels more like early the next decade by the time lunch rolls around.  Yuto has spent the entire morning distracted and unable to concentrate, barely able to get any work done, but when finally, there's only an hour or so left until the fateful appointment, Yuto finds himself unable to eat, picking at his lunch tray and eventually dumping the remainder of his pasta into a tupperware container to eat later and resigning himself to watching the clock anxiously.  It's not the most dignified way to spend lunch break, and he can practically feel Yamada's eyes rolling from the next desk over, but he can't bring himself to care; his big moment is almost here, and he wants to be ready when it comes.  

However, the time of Okamoto's appointment comes and goes, and Yuto can feel himself growing more and more distraught with each passing minute.  He knows that Okamoto is busy and probably has a full work schedule even without squeezing in this errand to the school, but by the time a half hour has passed, Yuto is beginning to despair that Okamoto isn't coming after all.  He's just about to give up and go back to his work when suddenly, a familiar figure through the window catches his eyes.  

Yuto's heart leaps through his chest, and before he can get a hold of himself, he's grabbing the papers that Chinen had indulgently handed over to him with a detailed explanation of the contents of each envelope and bounding for the door.  He makes it there before the bell even rings, but when he does, he's at the ready to throw it open with a wide grin and an enthusiastic, "Hi, Okamoto-san!!"  

Okamoto blinks in surprise, and Yuto realizes belatedly that perhaps opening the door so quickly and already knowing who was on the other side was a little weird, but he's not deterred.  "I have your papers!  If you want to go sit in the lobby, I'll explain what's what!" he continues, undeterred, and when Okamoto breaks into a more relaxed smile and nods, Yuto feels like his heart is going through the roof all over again.  

Similar to last time, Okamoto is dressed casually today, Yuto notes, though instead of a baseball cap, he seems to have come with sunglasses that he's now hooked into the V of the neckline of his T-shirt, and it's so effortlessly fashionable that Yuto (a photographer in his free time) wants to stop and do a photoshoot of him right then and there. But of course that would be inappropriate, and so instead, he guides Okamoto to a seat in the waiting area, where he lays out all the envelopes from Chinen and lists off each item just as Chinen told him.  Okamoto listens with a furrowed brow, long bangs falling into his eyes attractively, and Yuto begins to worry that he's being unclear, but as he wraps up his explanation and hands the envelopes to Okamoto, Okamoto smiles in a way that wipes all the worries from Yuto's head.  

Still, he's on the job, and so he tries to be as professional as possible, even as his precious time with Okamoto is running out.  "Do you have any questions?" he asks as cheerfully as he can, hoping against hope that Okamoto will, so that this meeting can be drawn out just a little longer, so that can bask in his presence for just a few more minutes... 

But no matter what he's hoping, outside his wildest fantasies, he would have never expected Okamoto to push his bangs behind his ear in that irresistible way and smile that heart-stopping smile and say, "Yeah, I've got a question... want to go get coffee together sometime this weekend?"

Yuto is pretty sure that he must be dreaming, but by the time he comes to grips with the fact that no, he's really awake and Okamoto Keito, nationally known movie star, is asking _him_ to coffee, his mouth is hanging open and, he realizes, he must be making a very unflattering expression.  Still, he can't be bothered to try to be cool, not now, when it feels like all of the glee and excitement humanly possible is trying to burst out of his body, and he's practically shouting, "I'd love to!!!!"  

Okamoto chuckles a little at Yuto's reaction, but the laugh transforms once more into that winning smile as he takes his phone out of his pocket to exchange contact information.  "I'll call you," he says once he's registered Yuto's phone number and LINE ID, "See you this weekend," and as Yuto watches him walk out the front door once more, melting to his knees right there in the lobby of the school building, he lets out a shaky sigh of relief that today wasn't his last chance to see Okamoto after all.  

... 

Yuto goes out to coffee for the first time with Okamoto-- or rather, "Call me Keito," he'd said-- that Saturday afternoon.  He wasn't able to sleep the night before (who'd be able to sleep the night before they had a date with a famous movie star??) and spent the whole morning trying on and then taking off clothes again-- was a collared shirt too fancy?  Was a T-shirt and jeans too casual?  It was impossible to make up his mind, and even though, in the back of his mind, he could still hear Yamada's voice chiding, "It's not really a date, you know, it's just coffee," he can't help but get his hopes up.  But date or no, Yuto spends his whole morning in indecision before finally deciding on a brand name T-shirt and skinny jeans and sunglasses, inspired by Keito's look the last time they'd met.  It doesn't look as good on him as it had looked on Keito, but he hopes that it will impress anyway.  

They meet at the Tully's in Sunshine City; Keito had just wrapped up a variety show filming in the area, so while Yuto doesn't spend much time in Ikebukuro, he happily hops on the train out in that direction, his mind full of thoughts about how cool it is to be going out with a famous person and how he now has insider entertainment knowledge and how there were certainly hundreds of people who would kill to be in his position.  The mall is crowded with families and young couples when he arrives, but as he nears the coffee shop, he catches sight of Keito, and his heart nearly falls out of his chest all over again.  In torn jeans and an old T-shirt from a rock festival accented by a gold earring and brand name mirrored sunglasses, Keito somehow looks both effortlessly beautiful and very much like a movie star, and Yuto silently screams to himself and runs around in a small circle just out of sight before taking a deep breath to calm himself and walking much more confidently than he feels towards Keito.  "Hey," he says as he approaches, doing his best to seem as effortless as Keito looks, but when, "hey!" Keito replies, a smile lighting up his face as he pushes his sunglasses up onto his head, his long hair falling to around the earpieces of the sunglasses to frame his face just so, Yuto feels like he's going to melt all over again.  

They get a little table in the corner once they've ordered their coffee, and if anything, Yuto marvels, Keito seems even more handsome up close.  Of course, he'd seen Keito close enough when he'd been helping him with the paperwork at the school, but now, here, sitting across from one another, with Keito's full attention on him and him alone, Yuto thinks that Keito must be the most handsome man on the planet, possibly in the whole universe.  He listens attentively as Keito talks about his home life, his time in England, the drama he's currently filming... frankly, he finds everything about Keito fascinating, and he feels as if he could listen forever.  Keito asks him about his life from time to time as well, and Yuto is flattered and happy to share.  When he brings up his various hobbies in youth, he learns that Keito had done horseback riding while in England, and that while he doesn't play the drums, he does play the electric guitar, and it turns out that they have a lot of musical interest in common.  Keito agrees with him about it being hard to choose what classes to take at school, and how it seemed impossible to finish in four years.  It's so easy to talk to Keito that before Yuto knows it, three hours have passed, and while he really, really doesn't want to part ways, he figures that with Keito's busy schedule, it's probably time to head home.  

But when Keito sees Yuto looking at his watch and checks the time as well, instead of moving to wrap things up, he sighs and bemoans, "I don't wanna go home now~"  Yuto's heart flip-flops in his chest that Keito might be feeling the same way as he does, and so, "Me either!" he answers breathlessly, perhaps a little too fast.  But Keito only grins, checking his phone briefly before replying, "I don't have anything else on my schedule for today. Want to grab dinner?" and Yuto thinks that between that gorgeous smile and that unbelievable invitation, he must have died and gone to heaven.  

But he still seems to be alive and kicking a few moments later as he follows Keito out of the coffee shop and out of the mall, into the hallway of the Sunshine 60 building and towards the elevators.  Yuto feels like he's living out a romantic montage in a chick flick as Keito grins and takes his hand, leading him into the elevator and all the way up to the 59th floor, where he guides Yuto to the most elegant Italian restaurant he's ever seen.  

Half an hour later, with a glass of champagne in hand and the first course of a full-course dinner in front of him, Yuto doesn't feel any less that he must be in heaven, but he's decided to stop questioning it and enjoy the ride.  His eyes had bugged out of his head when he first saw the menu; Yuto's family is fairly affluent, but he doesn't make a habit of eating at places that offer nearly eight thousand yen course meals and thirty thousand yen bottles of sparkling wine.  Keito, on the other hand, orders the most expensive items off the menu without batting an eyelash, and when he notices Yuto's eyes widening, he only smirks a little and reassures, "It's on me this time."  Yuto can't help but feel like a romance drama heroine, like the characters in the TV shows in which Keito stars in his career, but this isn't a story, this is his real life, he tells himself, and even if he wakes up tomorrow and it was all a dream, he wants he savor every moment of it.  

It feels like it's only been a few moments since they were first seated, but before Yuto knows it, the waiter is coming to ask if they'd like to order one last drink now that it's ten-thirty before the restaurant closes in a half hour.  Keito orders one last bottle of champagne, but Yuto finds himself fumbling with his phone, checking his train schedule app to see when he needs to get home.  Keito probably has a fancy car, or at least a manager who will pick him up in the middle of the night, but Yuto lives on the other side of town and relies on public transit... 

"What's up?" Keito asks, finishing off the previous bottle of wine into Yuto's mostly-empty glass, and Yuto bites his lip, immediately feeling bad for checking his phone in the middle of dinner.  

"I just have to check when the last Marunouchi line leaves..." he mumbles, fumbling with his app, but before he can finish his sentence, he feels Keito's hand on top of his free one, and looks up at him in confusion.  

"Don't worry about that," Keito says with that winning smile as Yuto's heart melts in his chest and his breath catches in his throat, "Let me drive you home.  I want to be able to enjoy the rest of the evening together."  

And that's how Yuto finds himself in the passenger's seat of Keito's Mercedes at midnight, speeding down the highway towards Keito's luxury downtown apartment.  "Come back and have a cup of coffee with me before going home?" Keito had offered, and Yuto certainly didn't have the will power to refuse.  After all, it's the weekend, so if he stays out late, it doesn't really matter, and if Keito wants to be with him longer, Yuto wants to be with Keito, too, wants it with all of his heart and more... 

...so much more, in fact, that about an hour later, when Keito pushes Yuto back onto his plush leather sofa and kisses him hard, Yuto couldn't have protested even if he had wanted to.  Keito's lips are soft against Yuto's, his hands strong and unrelenting as they hold onto Yuto's shoulders, and Yuto knows without a fraction of a doubt that this is what he's wanted ever since they first met.  It feels as if they were made to be this way, the way their bodies fit together, first on the sofa and then in Keito's king-sized bed, and when Keito first offers Yuto the shower and then invites him to stay the night, Yuto thinks that this can't possibly be real life; he must be dreaming, there's no other explanation.  

Still, as Yuto drifts off to sleep pressed close to Keito's body, he's glad to have had such a wonderful dream at all.  

... 

If it really is a dream, Yuto keeps on dreaming for the next couple months.  He can barely believe it when he really does wake up next to Keito the next morning, not at home in his own bed with vague memories of a very pleasant dream, and while he's a little hung over and sore after the night previous, he really couldn't care less.  After all, how could he possibly complain about the small things when Keito is in bed next to him, still fast asleep and with a peaceful expression that's equal parts cute and handsome, his arm draped across Yuto's body in a way that feels wonderfully intimate?  Yuto feels like he would be content to lie here staring at Keito's sleeping form all day, but after a few minutes pass, Keito begins to wake as well, and his face breaks into a charming smile when he finds Yuto looking back at him.  "Good morning," he says in English, that smooth, sophisticated British accent sounding too much like a movie star (or else a fairytale prince charming) to be true, and Yuto thanks any possible deity that might be listening that this isn't all a dream after all.  

He hadn't been sure how things would go after they'd had coffee and breakfast that morning before going their separate ways; Keito, he knows, is busy with his acting and entertainment work, and he must be surrounded by people who are far more interesting than Yuto.  But when, a few days later, Keito texts him near the end of the day to ask if he can drop by Roppongi on his way home from work to hang out backstage on a variety show while Keito has some down time, how can Yuto possibly say no? Of course, Roppongi isn't exactly "on his way" home, but he couldn't care less even if he ends up having to take a taxi across Tokyo to get home at the end of the night, he wants to be with Keito whenever and wherever Keito has a break in his schedule.  And being given a pass to go backstage on a TV show that Yuto watches with some regularity, to see and even exchange greetings with major stars, to get a glimpse of what it's like to work in an industry that Yuto has thought was fascinating ever since he was a child is an amazing experience, and one that he never imagined he'd have in a thousand years.  "This is amazing!" he tells Keito, eyes wide as he tries to take it all in, and Keito only grins and replies, "This is nothing... wait until you see a movie set."  Yuto tries not to get his hopes up-- after all, he knows that Keito must have rules he has to follow about bringing outsiders in with him, and even just getting invited this once has made Yuto beyond happy in terms of both his personal interest in the entertainment industry and the knowledge that Keito trusts him enough to have him here.  Still, when Keito offers to drive him home again, which ends up with Yuto going to Keito's apartment again, which ends up with the two of them in bed together again, and Keito whispers into Yuto's ear just as he's falling asleep that he wants to be able to make Yuto smile again like he did today, even if it means breaking the rules, Yuto is over the moon.  

And so it continues.  At least once a week but often more, Keito contacts Yuto that he's filming and invites Yuto along, and Yuto finds himself flitting between Shiodome, Roppongi, Odaiba, and Akasaka after his regular work day as if he were a celebrity himself.  Getting to experience the backstage happenings on TV shows is amazing, but what's even better is that, for the most part, when Keito isn't working, he's by Yuto's side, showing him around, introducing him to famous actors and talents, and, once he's done, taking him to meals at exclusive nearby restaurants frequented by celebrities.  On weekends, too, when Yuto isn't limited by his work schedule, Keito invites him to exciting location shoots around and even outside of Tokyo and treats him to fancy dinners and expensive drinks and everything in-between.  After a month, Yuto practically feels like a celebrity himself, and he looks forward to showing off his photos and telling stories about his insider knowledge of various variety shows and upcoming dramas with Yamada and Chinen when he gets back to work.  It's a little disappointing sometimes when Yamada raises his eyebrows and chides that Yuto shouldn't sharing industry secrets, especially when it's not even his own industry, and Chinen looks at all his photos and listens diligently but only responds with "hmm~"s and "is that so~?"s, but they're just jealous, Yuto thinks, of the exciting life he leads.  "He's just so amazing and I love him so much," he gushes to Chinen, the less critical of the two, one day at lunch, and when Chinen responds, "I only ask because I care about you, but... Are you sure you're not getting in over your head?" Yuto only scoffs.  

Because he knows Keito feels the same way about him-- they've said so to one another, in passing before Keito has to run off to a work obligation and looking lovingly into one another's eyes at candlelit dinners and in soft whispers as they fall asleep beside one another in Keito's bed, they've said, ”I love you," to one another more times than Yuto can even count.  And besides, why would Keito risk getting into trouble and bringing Yuto along to all of these tightly-guarded filmings and events if he didn't care about Yuto, if he didn't trust Yuto and want Yuto to be a part of his life long-term?  

And so Yuto goes on, feeling as if his life is perfect.  He has a fairly easy job that he enjoys during the day, a new exciting life behind the scenes of TV shows and movies at night, and a celebrity boyfriend who takes him to exciting places on the weekends.  His life has changed so much for the better in the past few months that finally, after all of his struggles in university, he's starting to feel invincible.  He waits anxiously each day for his phone to buzz with what is assuredly yet another invitation from Keito; he goes to bed each night (when he's not with Keito!) looking forward to what wonderful things he'll wake up to the following day. 

That is, until one day, he wakes up and checks his phone to find the the internet buzzing over the latest issue of _Shunkan Bunshun_ , which features a lengthy article entitled, "Okamoto Keito at it again? Shocking photos with three different gravure idols!" Yuto isn't sure how to feel, but as his stomach twists inside of him, his heart squeezing inside his chest as he hurries to dress and get to the convenience store to see the photos that aren't included in the article online, he hopes desperately that he really is dreaming after all. 

... 

Yuto isn't sure what he had been hoping for, but the photos really don't make the situation any better in the least-- in fact, they probably make it worse.  He had been hoping that this would be one of those stupid stories that the paparazzi obviously have stretched hard to make into a scandal at all, articles like "Famous actress visits convenience store with former politician!" or "Olympic gold medalist seen entering a building where female news announcer lives!" hardly provide any evidence of anything scandalous whatsoever, and all the way to the convenience store, Yuto had convinced himself that this would be the same, bristling at the thought of Keito's privacy being invaded.  But when he arrives at the magazine rack inside the nearest Lawson, grabbing the offending magazine off the shelf, all of his hopes are dashed.  There are eight or nine photos in relatively clear focus, and while some have obviously been taken without Keito's knowledge, others are selfies or photos taken by someone Keito must know.  They feature Keito smiling at the camera, his arm around a heavily made up woman the back seat of a limo in one shot while he holds up a peace sign as a different woman kisses his cheek in another.  In a third shot, he happily grins from behind sunglasses as his bikini-clad companion makes a kissy face at the camera, and Yuto wants to be sick.  Still, who knows how old these photos are, he tells himself, and he needs to stay calm until he has a chance to talk to Keito-- he still trusts Keito, and once he's gotten his emotions under control, he feels confident that Keito will straighten things out.  

 _I just saw Bunshun. Can we talk?_ he texts before heading out for the day, but by lunch time, there's still no answer.  He feels agitated and anxious as he tries to focus on work with little success; why hasn't Keito answered, he keeps worrying.  Is it that he's too upset over the articles?  Is he angry at Yuto for not trusting him?  Is he in trouble with his manager?  It seems like the unpleasant possibilities are too many to count, and Yuto's head is spinning by the time five o'clock rolls around and it's time for him to wrap up and head home for the day.  He tries to tell himself that Keito must just be busy, but wondering what's happening eats away at him to the point that, when he finally feels his phone buzz in his pocket around quarter to six, he lets out an audible yelp of surprise and relief despite the fact that he's in the middle of a packed commuter train.

But the relief doesn't last for long, and Yuto's stomach twists into knots again when, _I'm kind of busy. Can we make it tomorrow?_ comes Keito's reply.  He doesn't know what to make of it... because no matter how he spins it inside his head, it really sounds like Keito is blowing him off.  Perhaps Yuto isn't thinking straight when he's spent the entire day worrying like crazy, but he can barely wait until he's off the train and in a secluded part of the station before he's dialing Keito's number, praying that he picks up so that finally Yuto's worries and fears and now the tingling sense of self righteous anger can finally be assuaged when Keito assuredly informs him that it's all just a big misunderstanding.  

But instead, "What?" comes Keito's voice at the other end of the line, sounding irritated at best.  There's background noise that Yuto can't quite make out that makes it difficult to hear, and Yuto doesn't know what to make of this whole situation.  But he doesn't know what to do beside forge on, and so, "Sorry to bother you..." he replies hesitantly, "It's just that I wanted to talk with you after seeing Bunshun this morning, and..." 

"What do you want me to say?" Keito snaps back with an exasperated sigh.  "My manager has already been on my case about it, and my dad, I don't need to hear it from you too."  

"I'm sorry..." Yuto replies, struggling to make out Keito's words over the garbled noise in the background and confused as to what Keito is trying to say.  "So... it was all a mistake then, right?" 

"Yeah, I _know_ it was a mistake to take those photos," Keito snips, "I told you, I've already been lectured about it.  I'll talk to you later, okay?"

But, "Wait--" Yuto says, confused and starting to panic.  He's never heard Keito sound like this before, and somehow, that shakes him more than the photos.  "Those photos... they weren't... recent, right?  I mean... because... we've been... and...?"  His voice is shaking a little despite himself, but he can't help it-- it feels as if all of his happiness is tied to his relationship with Keito, and if he doesn't straighten things out now, he doesn't know what he'll do.  

But after a sigh and a moment of exasperated silence, "So what if they were recent?" Keito replies, sounding as if he'd rather be doing anything but having this conversation, "It's not like we're boyfriends or anything like that.  So what does it matter if I spend time with girls?"  

The words ring in Yuto's ears, but it takes him what feels like an eternity to process them.  Not... boyfriends...?  This has to be some mistake, he thinks, or maybe he just isn't hearing correctly, and so, "W-what...?  But... you said you loved me, and...?" he tries to clarify.  His words are about as jumbled and unclear as his feelings right now, but he hopes Keito will understand, hopes Keito will tell him this is all just a misunderstanding-- 

\--but instead, "Are you kidding me?" Keito grumbles, causing Yuto's heart to sink even further.  "Yeah, I said I like you, you're fun and I did love spending time together.  But I never committed to anything."  

Yuto feels like he's been punched in the gut as he struggles to hold himself together in response to Keito's words.  It's true, now that he thinks about it, that Keito had never committed in words, but they'd said all the same things, expressed affection for one another so many times, and certainly Keito must have been feeling the same way as he had!  Yuto had been so sure of it... how could it have all been fake?  He wants to say something strong, something that gets his feelings across clearly, something that conveys all the hurt he's feeling while also creating a constructive atmosphere to express themselves, but all that he can manage is, "But... why did you lie...?"  

"I didn't lie," Keito snaps, "That's what I'm telling you.  I never said we were boyfriends.  It was all in your head."  When Yuto isn't able to pull himself together to respond immediately, his throat tight as he tries to fight back his emotions into any semblance of reason, Keito sighs heavily again and adds, "Do you have any idea what it would be like to be in a serious relationship with me?  It's not all fun and games, you know.  I'm famous, and my image matters more than anything else.  If I'm just playing around and it gets into the tabloids, it's whatever, it will fade out in a week or so the next time someone else does something scandalous.  But if I'm in a relationship, that can't get out, ever.  We couldn't go on dates and you definitely couldn't be coming to my work whenever you wanted.  You'd have to commit to doing everything necessary to avoid our relationship being public knowledge.  It wouldn't be fun or exciting, it would be strict and stressful.  You might even have to sign legal documents about how you behave in case if affected me or my management.  Is that really what you want?"  

There's a long silence as Yuto struggles to comprehend the meaning behind Keito's words, and in the gap in the conversation, he suddenly belatedly realizes that the background noise on Keito's end is loud music, and that Keito must be at some sort of party.  It's just another slap in the face that Keito really isn't taking any of this seriously, and as Yuto wraps his mind around Keito's words, _You'd have to commit... it wouldn't be fun or exciting... is that really what you want?_ , he suddenly feels sick to his stomach.  

He can't even figure out for himself how he's feeling, not to mention put it into words; he can barely manage to speak in this state.  As he opens his mouth to try to respond, suddenly, his throat is tight and tears are beginning to break free, and in a last burst of obstinance, he defiantly thinks that he can't let Keito know he's crying.  And so, "I'm sorry--" he gasps, doing his best to sound strong and probably failing before he hangs up the call and makes a break for it.  He knows he can't make it home from the train station before his feelings catch up with him, but at the very least, he has to get out of here, out of the bright lights and the crowds.  

And so that's how Yuto finds himself alone on a park bench after dark, his knees hugged to his chest, his eyes red and swollen, wondering how his life turned out to be such a nightmare after all.  

... 

The next months feel like the slowest months of Yuto's life.  He'd ended up calling in sick the next day after the scandal broke; how could he face work, face all the people who'd been the reason he ever met Keito, who all knew that he'd been seeing Keito, who were bound to ask him about Keito, or at least talk about Keito around him?  Maybe he was being silly and emotional, but it had seemed insurmountable at the time, and so he'd sent an email to his boss saying that he was feeling a bit under the weather and he'd be back on Friday.  

Frankly, it had been hard to drag himself in to work on the following day, as well, but he knew he couldn't exactly use up all his sick days on a breakup, and so with a heavy heart, he'd gotten up early and done his best to brace himself for whatever gossip might be going around the office.  He had been relieved to find, when he arrived, that no one brought up a word about Keito, however; it was true that everyone in the office were kind and tactful and could probably read between the lines about what had happened, for which Yuto was surprisingly more grateful than embarrassed.  Yamada and Chinen had even left a snack and a drink on his desk, as a "get well soon" present, they'd said, playing along with his sick day cover, and so Yuto made it through the day feeling lucky that he had such respectful coworkers who treated him as if nothing was any different than usual.  

And so Yuto tried to put Keito out of his mind completely and continue on as if nothing had changed from when he'd originally gotten the job.  This was the place where they'd liked him so much that they'd hired him straight off the bat, without so much as a second interview, he told himself, and he ought to feel confident and competent and like he had his life together.  But it's hard to believe those things, hard to feel confident and competent  when, without the excitement of getting to know famous people through his job, what's left is a lot of paperwork in English that he struggles to get through and a lot of different job duties that he still hasn't fully gotten used to.  And it's hard to feel like he has his life together when, until about a month ago, he'd thought he found the love of his life, and now here he is, single, lonely, and, despite how much he tries to pretend otherwise, still pretty emotionally shattered over what had gone down over the phone with Keito.  Maybe he was a fool, but he really had thought Keito cared for him as much as he cared for Keito, and it still hurts thinking about how wrong he was.  

But he tries to push on, no matter how difficult, no matter how many new tasks get added to his plate with the changing of the school term, no matter how frustrated he gets when he makes mistakes over and over.  "It's just because you're new," Chinen tries to encourage, "You should have seen how many mistakes Yama-chan made at first!" and Yuto forces a weak smile at the kindness, but it's hard not to feel bitter and frustrated when he remembers how confident he was that his job would become easy in no time when he first started.  

What makes matters worse is that, a few weeks after Yuto's breakup, the moratorium on talking about Keito and his escapades in the office seems to come to an end, because one morning, Yuto comes to work to find the office abuzz with gossip.  It turns out that Keito's escapades with yet a fourth woman have made it into the sports papers, and everyone in the office has an opinion.  Yuto thinks at first that he ought to feel vindicated to see everyone shaking their heads and rolling their eyes over Keito's indiscretions, but by the end of the day, he's emotionally exhausted and doesn't know how to feel.  It feels like a slap in the face that Keito is flaunting his escapades with women in the papers, though Yuto knows that logically, it's very unlikely that Keito had any say about what was published at all, but at the end of the day, hearing his coworkers say things like, "What an idiot, he's always been so careless," and "It's a wonder he's finally going to graduate from college considering how much he fools around," about someone who he had loved so much (and loves a little, somewhere inside his heart, despite himself) is confusing and unpleasant and makes him want to take another sick day just to escape it, future possible illnesses be damned.  

But it turns out that if he were to take a sick day every time Keito gets in the tabloids, he'd have run out sick days in a very short amount of time.  He doesn't know if this was always the case and he had never been paying attention or if for some reason or another Keito isn't even trying to hide all the irresponsible things he's been doing since his falling out with Yuto, but Yuto starts to feel like he can't even go to the convenience store anymore for fear that Keito's face is going to be looking back at him from some compromising photo on the cover of a magazine.  And even if Yamada and Chinen started working at the school long after Keito had graduated and therefore don't know much about him or have much knowledge of him to gossip about, most of the other office employees have been with the school since before Keito enrolled, and have plenty to say about him and his current poor life choices.  While Yuto knows that he ought to feel better about the whole situation when all of his coworkers foreswore Keito's behavior, or at least tune it out, it bothers him deep down for reasons that he can't (or perhaps doesn't want to) understand.  Every day, he dreads getting out of bed, not wanting to face whatever challenges lie in store for him, whether work-related or Keito-related.  

And so, after week upon week of struggling with difficult work tasks and trying to ignore his coworkers' ongoing gossip about Keito, Yuto is about ready to throw in the towel.  His boss has always been kind about his mistakes and often helps him out when he needs it, and Yuto knows that the gossip about Keito is in no way malicious and only fueled by Keito's current seemingly unending presence in the tabloids, but it's all so difficult to deal with, Yuto doesn't want to have to fight anymore. He feels bitter that the happy ending he finally thought he was living has been snatched away from him, and he just doesn't have it in him to face his life anymore. Perhaps that makes him a quitter; it certainly gives him a sinking feeling to know that, after three different majors, five years of college, and a bunch of failed attempts to get a job, he's yet again giving up, but right now, everything just seems so hard.  And just like all the times Yuto's run into things that are hard in the past, all he wants to do right now is run away. 

He hates how cowardly it makes him, but by the end of the month, he's ready to quit.  In fact, he's in the middle of trying to figure out exactly what he should say to his boss when he hands in his resignation at the end of the week when the evening news, which he'd had playing in the background, switches from the weather to entertainment-related updates.   _Flash bulletin_ , the screen reads, _Okamoto Keito cast in Hollywood movie. Filming to start next month._

As soon as he sees Keito's name in the headline and Keito's face on the screen, Yuto's hand is automatically moving to the remote control to switch the TV off, but for some reason, he freezes, watching numbly as a report explains the timeline of Keito's departure for California before switching to a video of Keito at a press conference.  His hair is pulled back into a ponytail, a lightweight jacket over his usual T-shirt, and, Yuto thinks numbly, he looks just as handsome as the day they'd met.  He wills his hand to move, but he can't seem to bring himself to push the button as Keito begins to speak.  

"I just want to thank everyone looking out for me... my dad, my manager, my friends, all of my costars... I know that leaving the country for a long time is going to cause a huge inconvenience for all these people who support me, but I really appreciate their efforts on my behalf," he says, and while it's a clip clearly cut from a much longer interview without context, for some reason, it feels like a slap in the face.  Yuto has spent the past weeks ever since he last saw Keito feeling wronged by him, angry at Keito's unwillingness to commit to him and thinking of Keito as irresponsible right along with his coworkers, but really, was he any better?  He, who had run away when Keito had told him how much of a commitment it would be to be in a real relationship?  He'd tried to block everything about Keito but especially their last conversation out of his mind, but as far as he can remember, Keito isn't even the one who broke things off between them-- Yuto had done it when Keito had told him what would be required of him if Keito was to be his boyfriend.  At the end of the day, maybe Keito was irresponsible, but it was Yuto who had run away from the thought of their relationship changing from only the fun things to something that required effort.  It was Yuto who had run from commitment.  

The next thing that Yuto knows, his phone is in hand, his LINE chat with Keito open on the screen.  His fingers tremble as he types, but he knows what he has to say before it's too late.   _I need to see you.  I want to apologize for everything.  Please come meet me tonight_ , he types, and even though he knows it's a ridiculous request and Keito will probably ignore it, he can't help but believe.  

... 

Yuto arrives at Ikebukuro station about a half hour later.  He had already been on the train when the notification showed up that Keito had read his message; he had watched his phone with bated breath as he rocked back and forth in the crowded train car, unable to contain his nervous energy, but no response had come.  Still, no matter how much it seemed like Keito wanted nothing to do with him anymore, Yuto has always been optimistic by nature, and so he'd kept on going.  He hadn't even really known where he was going when he left the house at first, but the more he thought about it, the more he felt that it needed to be someplace important to the both of them.  

And so that was how Yuto ended up in a small park outside the west exit of Ikebukuro station-- after all Ikebukuro is where they'd had their first date, even if it was the other side of the neighborhood.  Yuto isn't particularly familiar with Ikebukuro, but Google maps had showed a small, secluded-seeming area behind a cluster of restaurants, and so he'd chosen there for his meeting point and sent the address to Keito through LINE. While Keito still hadn't responded to his earlier message, the sent location also comes up as "read" after a few moments, which gives Yuto enough hope to keep going.  It's easy enough to find the little park from the station, and while it's not really what Yuto would have called a park at all, seeing as it's mostly paved and the highlight of the space seems to be a small stage for local performances, the not-so-picturesque nature of the spot also seems to have left it relatively deserted on a weeknight, which is what's most important, anyway.  After pacing around for a few moments, Yuto tries to calm his nerves, sitting on the steps up to the little stage area and trying to sort out his thoughts.  

He's nervous enough that he doesn't get very far in the next twenty minutes-- each second that goes by feels like an hour, and more than focusing on what he'll say assuming that Keito really does show up, Yuto's brain is much more attentive to each passing moment, worries growing that Keito won't come after all.  Still, he's not going to give up, not now, not this time, and he's in the middle of trying to take deep breaths and calm his churning stomach when suddenly, a familiar figure catches his eyes and his heart feels like it's leaping out of his chest.  

"Keito--!!" he starts to yell, but then remembers mid-word that he's supposed to be keeping a low profile, and coughs awkwardly to cover, instead waving his arms and trying to catch Keito's attention that way.  Keito clearly sees him, hesitating for a second, and in that moment, Yuto's stomach lurches with fear that Keito is going to turn and leave.  

But instead, Keito stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans and he comes, his eyes flicking to meet Yuto's once or twice before moving away, his lips rolled in on themselves, and belatedly, Yuto realizes Keito must be nervous as well.  It makes his heart feel as if it's being tied in knots both with guilt at making Keito feel this way but also with hope that his presence, his words might be important enough to make Keito feel a little bit like the way Yuto is feeling.  Still, he doesn't know how to address that fact, and so he awkwardly clears his throat and takes a deep breath, trying to remember what he wanted to say.  

But before he can find his words, he's shocked when Keito looks up at him and says, "...I'm sorry I snapped at you before. I was pissed that everyone was getting on my case, but... the truth is that I just didn't want you to be mad at me, and I really didn't want to mess things up."  He runs a hand in his hair, looking off to the side for a moment before continuing, "I was a coward for not calling after that, but... I wanted to say sorry this whole time, so... I'm sorry."  

Yuto doesn't know whether to scream or cry, he's so full of feelings hearing Keito say that, seeing in his eyes that he really means it, but rather than do either, somehow, words are pouring out of him before he even knows what he's thinking.  Maybe it's that he's wanted to express himself to Keito for so long that he just can't hold it back anymore, or maybe he's been inspired by Keito actually taking responsibility and apologizing first, but whatever the reason, he finds himself shaking his head and taking a step towards Keito.  

"No-- I'm sorry," he says, unable to stop himself even if he wanted to, "I shouldn't have done so many things. I shouldn't have assumed things without asking you, I shouldn't have panicked on the phone with you, I shouldn't have just decided things were over without properly explaining my feelings to you.  But... I didn't want you to leave the country without being able to tell you how I feel... and I don't want things to end with 'I'm sorry.'"

"...What...?" Keito asks, looking nervous and confused, and he looks so vulnerable that Yuto doesn't know how it fits with all the sleeping around and all the tabloid photos and everything that's happened over the past months, but he doesn't really care.  He wants to use his words and express himself now, he wants to communicate and make things work, or at least find an ending that's better for the both of them.  

"Before you said that if I wanted to be boyfriends I needed to commit to doing whatever was necessary so that it wouldn't hurt your career. I'm ready to hear what it is I need to do... I want to be with you if I can... and if you're okay with it," Yuto responds boldly, so boldly that he's a little surprised to hear the words in his own voice.  "Who knows... maybe we wouldn't be able to make it work.  But I want to hear what it is I need to do, and I want to try... even if it's difficult, I want to be with you."  

Keito looks surprised and a little bashful at that, and for a moment, his eyes meet Yuto's in a way that makes Yuto's heart beat fast in that wonderful way that it had when he'd first met Keito.  But then Keito looks away again, shoving his hands into his pockets and biting his lip before replying, "I... thank you... I'm really happy... to hear you say that..." He sighs, and his expression is so downtrodden that Yuto just wants to give him a hug, but he holds back the urge.  He knows he can't just act on feelings like before, he knows he needs to hear Keito out, and so he waits patiently until Keito continues.  "But you heard, right?  I'm leaving the country next month... so it's really pointless anyway, right...?"  

Yuto doesn't know where all of this newfound confidence is coming from, but he finds himself smiling a little, moving closer to put a hand on Keito's shoulder.  "Didn't you hear me?" he says just a little playfully, tilting his head to look into Keito's eyes.  "I said even if it's difficult, I want to be with you.  No matter what, I want to be with you.  I'm not going to give up this time.  I want to commit."  

His heart is beating fast into his chest as he meets Keito's gaze; Keito's eyes are beautiful as they widen in response to Yuto's words, looking back at Yuto unwaveringly, and it only makes Yuto feel more confident, more assured.  He loves Keito, as much as someone can love someone they only met a few months ago, and he doesn't want to let that go, even if it means he has to work for it.  He can't predict the future, and he can't read Keito's mind, but right now, he feels that he has nothing to lose by expressing what's in his heart and committing to doing his best to make them both happy.  

He doesn't know what he's expecting Keito to do-- perhaps smile and accept Yuto's proposal to work things out, or maybe to furrow his brow further and express concern that there are too many obstacles to overcome.  But one thing he's really not expecting is for Keito to look into his eyes for a moment longer before leaning in and kissing him.  

Yuto has kissed Keito many times, quick pecks and deep, long, slow kisses and everything in between, but somehow, he's never kissed like this before.  Keito's lips are firm against his own without being forceful, his breath warm against Yuto's face, and Yuto never wants to let him go.  But then a moment later, when Keito pulls back with an unsure but determined smile and says, "Then... me too," Yuto knows that that's a thousand times better than the kiss, after all. 

... 

Yuto hadn't really known what he was expecting when he had submitted an application to work in the administrative office of an international school a little more than a year ago, but now, looking back, it's one of the best decisions he's ever made.  In just over a year, he's grown to love what he does, gained a variety of new skills, and has probably picked up a few new English phrases in the process.  It's crazy to look back and think that he might have quit just because he wasn't immediately perfect at all of his job duties, but he supposes that it's a life lesson that everyone has to learn once in a while-- the best things only come to those who are willing to put in the time and effort to make them happen.  

And maybe Yuto had learned that lesson the hard way, but he couldn't be happier.  After all, it didn't just apply to work-- relationships, especially those of the long distance variety, were no walk in the park, he now knew, but the payoff made the effort more than worth it.  After all, it had been difficult to gather his thoughts and parse out his feelings and have that long, hard conversation with Keito before Keito had left for America, to discuss what both of them wanted out of the relationship and what they needed to do to make things work while they were on opposite sides of the globe, and at first, it had been really hard.  But there have been more than enough ups for every down, and to Yuto's surprise, with just a little endurance and hard work, things got easier and easier with time.  

And so now, a little more than a year after he'd finished redoing his last year of college and started a job that he never thought he'd succeed at and began dating someone who was both way out of his league and as afraid of commitment as he was, here he is, still happy in both his job and his relationship.  It still feels a little bit like a dream, but Yuto now knows that his happiness is not the result of his brain playing tricks on him, but rather his determination and effort.  

Sometimes, while things are slow at work, he spaces out, thinking about all that he's accomplished in the past year, but more often than not, the dreamy expression on his face catches the attention of his friends, and sure enough, he's drawn out of his thoughts when he hears Chinen snickering across from him.  

"Whatcha thinking about, Yutii~?" he asks, raising his eyebrows teasingly.  "Counting down the hours until you get to see Keito again~?"  

"That would be depressing," Yamada scoffs, doing his best to look aloof, but Yuto can tell from his eyes that he's happy for him. "According to the news, he won't be back for another nine days."  

"Hey, nine days is pretty good when you consider that he's been away for more than six months!" Yuto shoots back with a laugh, playing along.  "You guys are just jealous that I'm dating a movie star~"  

"Nah~" Chinen replies. "I'm happy enough with the guy next to you.  Though I'll admit that his English definitely leaves something to be desired compared to Keito."  

Yuto chuckles as Yamada squawks, "What??" before pouting at Chinen, the two of them falling into the comfortable cycle of their usual banter.  Yuto enjoys taking part in their conversations when he can, but he's distracted at that moment when he feels his phone buzzing in his pocket.  A glance at the clock tells him it's around nine-thirty in the evening in America, around the time Keito often wraps up his filming, and so he's already grinning as he wakes up the screen and swipes to his LINE chat with Keito and eagerly reads the most recent message.  

 _Wrapped up for today, going to dinner with my manager and then bed. Have a good day at work!  Only nine more days until I can say this to your face._ There's an audio message attached, and while Yuto knows he really shouldn't at his desk, the message is only a few seconds long, and he can't resist quickly holding the phone up to his ear and pressing play.  

 _I love you_ , Keito's voice says melodically in English, and while Yuto had been feeling stupidly happy at the text message alone, he knows he's grinning like an idiot now.   _Good work today!  Only nine more days! I love you too!_ he fires off quickly in response before putting his phone away again and getting back to work.  

He's a little sad that most of his interactions with Keito during the week are limited to this sort of intermittent messaging due to time zones and work schedules, but still it's not really a hardship.  After all, he'll see Keito in just a little over a week, and he can survive until then by distracting himself with a job that he loves surrounded by friends who support him and knowing that even if he's of the other side of the planet, he has a boyfriend who loves him enough to make things work even fourteen hours apart.  It's not a dream, but, Yuto thinks, he's okay with that.  Maybe, he thinks as he settles back into his seat to focus on work until it's time to go home and eventually have his late night call with Keito, the best happy endings are the ones that you make for yourself.  


End file.
